


Not Short For Anything

by psychosassicvampire (DukeMirage)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: M/M, brain is just running on brotzly these days, first fic, i owe her more in the future, only in passing im sorry.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 04:34:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29308098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DukeMirage/pseuds/psychosassicvampire
Summary: “Todd’s not short for anything; it’s just Todd.”-Seen several people write things where Dirk calls Todd names other than Todd so this is my take on that in the form of fluff.
Relationships: Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 15
Kudos: 34





	Not Short For Anything

“Todd’s not short for anything; it’s just Todd.”

Dirk bites his own tongue about what he wants to say to that because the last time he mentioned anything about Todd’s height he narrowly avoided getting a black eye in return about it, and he likes to think he can learn how to be socially respectful or similarly tactful with his speaking in ways that matter to people that matter and when the situation demands it or otherwise renders it appropriate or beneficial, such as in instances of near death, or, a more inspiring incentive: friendship. Instead he says “Well, I like Theodore. Oh, or Toddothy...” Leather-clad elbow firmly attached to leather-clad torso, Dirk’s index finger still finds itself launched upwards like he’s had a revelation on a case. “Yes!”

“Oh, no, that sounds too much like oddity and I’m not gonna let _you_ call me that. And besides, what am I supposed to call you? Dirk......ly?” His face wrinkles in doubt and apprehension. What a stupid thing to say.

“Dirkly.” Dirk replies flatly, marvelously unimpressed.

Todd smooths his expression. “Mhm.” Despite his initial reservations, he wills himself to be suddenly resolute, and at the drop of a dime appears very matter of fact about his creative choices now. “Yes.”

“Did you just... make a long form of my monosyllabic first name by using part of my last name?” Dirk’s features are furrowed and he’s pointing around in the air trying to find out ways the pieces fit together. In a way, he is impressed at least by Todd’s change in tune.

“Again, yes, it seems I have, does that bother you?” Todd crosses his arms and takes a confrontational yet friendly step towards Dirk. Unnervingly, Todd is not only matching his partner-in-un-crimes in absurdity, but defending his additions no less. But if Dirk can make stupid names with confidence so can Todd. Todd’s brow is raised in faux contempt but he can’t stop himself from smiling, that toothy grin shining with the mischief in his eyes, betraying whatever bullying words he tries to string together. “You serial botherer?”

“Um. I wish I could find it in myself to be more bothered like I think I should be, probably, but the amount of bothered I am is only moderate, and well, in the grand scheme of things it’s really only slight, and it seems to actually be fading with each passing moment, especially every moment that you keep advancing on me like that and looking at me like that with your... eyes... like that.” Dirk has backed himself up as Todd now stands right in front of him.

“Mhm.” For a blessed moment Todd blinks and hides his teeth behind his lips for the utterance but then he’s right back to brightness. The quirk in his brow and his grin is both challenging and mocking and reminds Dirk somewhere in the back of his head of the couple times Todd attempted to play at cop with Farah, to her chagrin. Dirk tries not to think about it given that he’s pressed his back against a filing cabinet and doesn’t have much faith in his ability to sidestep it just to back into the wall another foot. Not without looking back. And he can’t bring himself to look anywhere else.

“So you can... call me... anything... you want, probably.” The words tumble out of Dirk extremely awkwardly and he continues to shrink into himself, his whirlwind energy taming itself for a rare moment. Dirk is very unaccustomed to being jeered at lovingly in return.

What he’s used to is people leaving. Or dying. Or leaving and then dying. But here’s Todd, stepping towards him willingly, and very alive despite everything, and he still hasn’t broken eye contact, and he could say _anything_ right now.

But then the door handle to their office turns with a clat and Farah walks in and then the two of them, loose cannons as they are, have to sort of pretend to be doing work-ish things-ish especially since she’s the one funding their operations for the time being while they find themselves between clientele. So yeah. Professionalism. Or the guise of it. Detectives are really good, _so_ good at pretending things. Absolutely she doesn’t notice them clearing their throats and walking away from each other to amble towards their desks that they never sit at.

  
  


-

  
  


“You know, it sounds more like an adjective.”

“What?” Todd is broken out of the mental spiral of his retrospective embarrassment and asking himself why he was acting the way he did earlier. His mouth is full of pizza. This feels less embarrassing somehow. After they ordered it, Farah had said she wasn’t in the mood for pizza today and went out for the gyro cart down the block. Or maybe she’d sensed something else.

“Than a name. Dirkly. It sounds like an adjective,” Dirk posits with more context.

“No it doesn’t.” Todd finds himself emotionally invested in the senseless argument like he’d been taken into it by a rip tide.

“Yes it does.” Dirk clears his throat, setting the stage for his dramatics, and leans away from Todd to spread his hands in a grandiose and vague gesture. “He walked _dirkly_ onto the crime scene. See? It ends very adjectivally, what with the L and the Y.”

Todd rolls his eyes. He doesn’t have a fair counter to it. “Okay, well you better let every Emily know that rule.”

Dirk settles back next to Todd, wiggling into the sofa. “That’s alright, there are way too many of them in the world for me to have this discussion with, and I think I’m a little bit too busy with you right now.” Dirk breaks into a smile that feels unfair in its innocence and charm.

Todd blushes. As if sitting next to his best friend talking about nothing like they always do is something to trip him up today. No, everything is normal. He stretches his shoulders to try and shake it off and offers a smile back, attempting to ignore how hot his face feels. 

  
  


-

  
  


When Todd tells the gang he’d rather stay overnight in the office since his new apartment isn’t fully furnished yet and he feels uncomfortable and a little bit sad about it not feeling like his own place yet with all his stuff missing, Dirk offers to stay there too, so the office won’t end up with the same gloomy, empty feeling.

“Anyway, I think maybe having single syllable names is fine. They’re sturdy and uh, you know, noble names. Or whatever. Keep it simple.”

What they end up doing instead is going to Dirk’s apartment since he has both a sofa _and_ a bed and no one will have to end up on the floor or something. Given enough pieces to work with, one or both of them is bound to come up with some amenable solution.

“Oh, and you think I’m looking for simple?”

Todd lets a tired snort through his nose as a laugh and a smile breaks out on his face. “I don’t know, but I think our lives are complicated enough as it is. Let the names be a win.”

They’re both on the couch, having been chatting into the evening instead of retiring for it. In the hushed moment that follows, the two find themselves staring at their own shoes.

“Right now it doesn’t feel so complicated.” Dirk says this very quietly.

Todd feels a sense of dumb stupid nothing wash over him. “Oh.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


“Wait a minute, your whole last name is literally an adjective! Like, a real adjective, Dirk!”

The man in question scrambles off of the couch to avoid whatever Todd would unleash upon him, bubbling with laughter. He raises his hands in a combination of surrender and defense. “' _Gently, would you?’_ Bahaha!”

“Oh, you-!” Todd is parading towards Dirk’s faux cowering. But he’s smiling. It feels bright.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't normally write - I kind of produced this by accident - and it is my first time sharing fic so feedback would be enormously appreciated. And thank you so much for reading.
> 
> Beyond that, a heartfelt and undying gratitude for a number of people who have inspired me to keep wondering and creating about this world that we keep alive together. If you think you're one, you are.
> 
> I can be found doing other Dirkish things besides writing on tumblr @ psychosassicvampire


End file.
